Whoa Nelly! What have I DONE? For the past two days I have been obsessing on colors, furniture, room dimensions and contracts. I have jumped headfirst into a project that at first looked like the kiddie pool, and now feels more and more like the Blue Hole at Suck Creek back home. I am flailing around in a sea of equal parts excitement and fear. But, that fear is GOOD.
For years I have spent so much time calling myself a woman of action, and really I wasn't acting at all. I was biding my time for the safe bet, the easy road, and the path of least resistance. In the past year, however, I have been living up to my self proclaimed "Woman of Action," status. And life has never felt so good. I changed my relationships, leaving those that didn't serve me and nurturing those that do. I went to Germany and Prague and saw wonders I had been dreaming about for 25 years, and I turned the key on my very own practice this week. It has been like a snowball, that just keeps on barreling down the mountain.
Even though I am holding on for dear life as this adventure just keeps evolving, I am doing it from a place of stillness that keeps leading me in the right direction. I have a wonderful mentor, who told me to work on that concept. Stillness. It's almost as if that stillness has the power to move mountains. I have had this dream of opening my own practice, a place for like minded practitioners to share space, for a while, and found myself not super happy in my current space MONTHS ago. Instead of rushing to join another space, or rent another office, I just stayed...I liked my office mates, and my colleagues, I wasn't miserable, but I knew there was something more for me...something big. So....I waited. Patiently. Before this year, I would have become panicked, and jumped at the first thing that came along, believing this misguided story of "urgency," to move on to the next big thing that I have been carrying for many, many years. This time I responded to the call, that feeling in my gut, instead of "reacting." I stayed still, and the answer got delivered to me. When you are constantly moving, the postman just can't find you to deliver that important message you have been waiting for.
I used to call myself a woman of action, when, really, I was just a woman full of fear. That I was doing the wrong thing, or making the wrong choice, or missing out on some big opportunity if I didn't make changes "Right NOW." What I have learned, is that taking the "Leap," to do great things isn't necessarily moving so fast your hair catches on fire. But, instead...taking the leap into a still and tranquil pond...and then waiting and watching how the ripples move in every direction. Seeing where each one will lead. Breathing in, and breathing out, as they settle. Then, steadily moving into the direction that your intuition leads you. Trusting that gut, trusting my fear to serve a purpose to help me and keep me safe, and trusting that my stillness, can move mountains.
How can you take a leap this year, this week, month, or hour? Can you change one little thing, or a big one? Even if you just dip your toe in and watch the ripples, at least you have moved in the right direction.
Namaste My Friends.